LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
2014-09-09 07:13:01 (UTC)

School Ramblings


"Paint" by Paper Kites

September 9, 2014 Tuesday 7:13 AM


I see people around school every day that I no longer talk to. It's weird. Depressed-hispanic-kid, J, Aaron (okay we talk but barely), Polaris, Kat, Erica, so mANY PEOPLE.

I get sad because J is in a lot of my classes and we still don't talk. Most people I had conversations with but we were never friends. I'm pretty sure me and J were almost friends (I don't know why I'm always so tentative to say someone is my friend. I think it's because I'm afraid they wouldn't agree).

But other than those sad realizations, yesterday was like a really good freakin day. People were nice to me! I got tons of compliments on my hair and people were talking to me even though they didn't know me, I just felt loved.

I wanted to change my gym class but I can't unless I want to lose my beloved art classes. I assured my guidance counselor there was no bullying. The issue is that I have no friends or acquaintances in that class.

Now, I can force myself to make friends in most classes. Just not gym. Gym is my lonely hell, it brings me back to eighth grade.

It's not that the girls are/were ever mean to me, but they're popular and they exclude me. Not singling me out, but since I happen to have no friends in that class, I'm excluded from other friend groups and it sucks.

Fuck it, though, I want my art classes. I really want them. So I'll deal with it.

Oh! I went to Lily's after school. It was a lot of fun and we played ping pong. I lost :( that's okay BECAUSE I ALMOST WON the first game. The second one I did was crap. I dunno.

Hanging out with Lily reminded me of when we grew apart in middle school. There's nothing more to say about that, but I don't want to leave any somewhat dominating though out of this entry.

Morning writing is nice but since I have a time limit, I feel rushed and less organized. Maybe I'll write in mornings if I have time and I'll stick to afternoons generally. ,Okay, bye, I gotta go. Breakfast!


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