Dinoraur.

Reality.
2014-09-07 13:34:31 (UTC)

Grasp.

Tuesday-Friday he drove me home from school.
Friday though. Yes.
My mom went to the camper with her husband, so I was alone for the night. He drove me home from school, and we hung out for a little. Then, I snuck him into my house. Holy. Wow. It was so.. Passionate. So rough. He grabbed me. He took off my clothes. He passionately kissed me. There was sosososo much fingering. Deep and hard too. I couldn't help but moan. I could actually make noise! We were completely alone. He finally goes inside me, and just pounds me. He was in so deep. The feeling was so rich. So satisfying. Actually, a little before he actually went in me, my mom called, so I had to talk to her. When I walked back in my bedroom, he grabbed me, ripped off my clothes, got me back on the bed, and was kissing me before I could ever utter a word. Gahh. It was perfect.
He thought he should go, though I wanted him to atay. He left and went home, but an hour later decided to come back. He got here around eight. We went to the park, and lied in the grass, looking at the stars. We then went back to his truck and lied in the bed together. It all was exactly like the movies.
I snuck him back in my house. We stripped down, go in bed, and cuddled. We made cheese twice more that night I think. I put on Punky Brewster, and fell asleep in hks arms. I could finally sleep with him without worrying about a thing. And naked. He was only wearing boxers. It was so great. I woke up at two, ready for the day to begin. Everytime I'd move I'd wake him up, which sucked because I move so much. Anyway, he was always adorable. Even though it's two in the morning and I just woke him up because I'm ill, not tired, and uncomfortable, he says, "Here baby. Come here." He's so gentle and sweet. I cuddle in him, and tell him I'm not tired. He tries to coax me into sleep. We eventually did 69, and then had cheese, because I wasn't giving in to sleep. I cuddle deep into his arms, and I fall asleep until six thirty. I've barely opened my eyes, and I feel him rubbing me, then fingering me. It feels so great. I look at him and smile. We kiss. I lie back down, and close my eyes, still tired. I never even realized he reached over me and got a condom, but sure enough, he slips inside me. I swear. I felt so vunerable this time. I wanted him. I wanted to never leave his arms. I never wanted him to stop being in me. He'd grab my sides and my hips, pulling me, moving me. Lord Zaros. I love when he grabs my hips. He's kissing my head. He's going fast in me. I'm gripping the blanket. I couldn't breathe. Everything felt so perfect. I never wanted the moment to end. Something about the moment. I just. I don't know. I was so vunerable to him. So open and wanting. I needed him. It was as if he was my breath, and without him there, without that moment, I wouldn't be able to breathe.
We cuddled for a little. About the time he said he'd have to go, I turn, and lie on top of him. I try to have him not leave. I eventually get off and lay at his side. We talk for a little, and I start to give him a handjob. I was originally rubbing his stomach and arms, and slowly made my way down there. I stop after a minute or two, and say, "I guess you need to go." He kisses me and says, "That's not very nice."
I was hoping it would lead to one more cheese, but he instead said he'd take an IOU on that. Bummer..
We got dressed, and snuck out and back to his car. We drove around, and parked random places to sit and talk.
Later that day, (this is Saturday) I was going to the fair with my friends. He came and joined in. So, I got to spend the rest of the day with him as well. It was fun. We broke out into a fight at one point when he decided to leave, but then he came back.
I miss him. He had today off, and as I predicted, he got called in. 9-3. idiots.. I hate him working. I do. Oh well.
I miss him. Friday feels like forever ago. I'd give anything to go back to it all.
As often as I hate him, and wish he wouldn't be so horrible at some points, and hate some things he does/is did/is going to do, I love him. I love him so much. So much it hurts. It's terrifying. Some days I get nervous about him being mine, and some days I know nothing will ever change that. He's mine. He will always be mine. Even though he is leaving me in two months... I honestly can't handle it. I secretly hate him for signing up and choosing to go. I'm pissed he'd do this. He says he always wants to be with me, doesn't want to wait, all this bullcrap. Then he signs up for something that will keep us apart so much more than needed. Not to mention it completely screws up my future. I'm pissed about it. I'm so hateful towards him going. He knows I don't like him going and that it upsets me, but he doesn't know all my thoughts and feelings on it. And he doesn't need to. He probably never will.
Anyway, this all started out so good. Let's not talk about this.
I love him. I love him. Regardless of his flaws, he's still pretty darn perfect for le. Most of the time, anyway. ;)
I love you. I truly honestly do. And I hope there isn't a single doubt in your mind.
But don't forget. There is always Alex next in line! ;)
I'm kidding. I'm kidding. You are my absolute one and only. I swear to you.
I love you.
I'm sorry if this is hard to read. My mind is going insane, and I'm trying to write everything as it comes. Sorry if it doesn't make any sense.
Oh. Also. I found an article online, and I absolutely love it. I screen shotted all of it. I really want him to read it, but I'm nervous to send it to him. It's a pretty touchy subject for me..

Also, we'll enter down her because it doesn't have anything to do with my boyfriend.
My uncle Jake has stage four cancer. It started as lung cancer, and has now moved to his brain. He went in the hospital because of a heart attack.
He my 37.. And he will probably die. They just raised 5,000 dollars for him to get a machine that may help his cancer.
If he dies, it will be the third family member I've lost just this year. I lost my great grandma in April. I lost my Uncle Jerry in July. Now I might lose my Uncle Jake.. What the heck... This is crap.
This is a great example on how life is not fair. I know. I understand..




Ad: