ForsakenStar

All Tangled Up
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2014-09-03 09:17:54 (UTC)

Changes

Music playing:
Walkin' After Midnight - Patsy Cline
Back In Baby's Arms - Patsy Cline
Big Iron - Marty Robbins
The End Of The World - Skeeter Davis
Seven Lonely Days - Patsy Cline
Choices - George Jones
Making Believe - Emmylou Harris

Dearest Sophia:

Excuse me while I am going through my old country phase. It's been me and Patsy Cline hanging out here lately. I do this on occasion. I'll be back to my old self soon. Maybe.

Today I guess I could say I am going through some depression. I need to change some things in my life and I really don't want to. Here lately I have been in a negative aura. I am sad over things I cannot control. People piss me off and I just don't want to give in to things that seem to irritate me. I guess you could say I would rather talk shit about it and do nothing to improve the situation. I know, this is not the way to be or to live. But it's comfortable. It's what I know.

So one thing you may not know about me, Sophia, is that I love to make lists. Grocery lists, chore lists, gift list, craft idea lists, and anything that I can make a lists for. Is that a form of OCD? I think so. But I am so not organized. Look at my house, you will know I am SO not organized.

So every day this week I am going to make a list of things (chores) that need to be done and I am going to make myself do at least 25 different chores and see what happens by Friday.

My poor son is having to put up with my mood swings and to be honest he is a trooper since he hasn't shot me yet. No really. He is going through a lot of things with me being sick and having to deal with me all the time. I feel sorry for him. Joe is a good kid. No, he is an awesome kid.

I started making rock babies. I love them. I am making them and putting them in a jar for my (future) grandchildren. No, I don't have any grandchildren. Not even a chance of that for a long time. So, why are you making them for someone that doesn't exist? Pretty simple, I don't think I will live long enough to see grandchildren so I am preparing things for them to have when they are old enough. If I do get the opportunity to meet my future grandchildren then I will be happy and live those moments to the fullest. If not, well, I prepared something for them to have from me.

I don't feel well today and just would rather push the whole chore list thing to the side and go back to bed. But if I do that then depression wins and I don't want to give up that easy.

Have a blessed day and be kind to each other.

ForsakenStar


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