zoe

a step forward
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2014-08-25 23:43:46 (UTC)

life's getting better

dear diary,
memories have been chasing me alot lately, everything i do, i see, speak or hear brings me tons of flashbacks ... moments i've lived, memories i once cherished ... which are now nothing more than ashes.
having those flashbacks brought me to tears often in the past but now? now they're nothing more than lessons life taught me.
due to what happened, i learnt to be myself, to love my self and most important of all: to be true to myself, i don't want to be miserable anymore. thanks to someone whom i ignore who they are.
feeling ache and being heart broken isn't all about depression and being hopeless ... beleive it or not there's beauty, there's pulchritude in it but you don't see it, after bad experiences comes better ones.
as for my life? life's getting better, I am getting better even though i ignore what's going to happen when i'm getting back to school. but this year is all about focusing on my studies, this year's the year i'll be graduating from highschool and all i'm going to do is study hard in order to obtain high marks which i'll be needing to be accepted in the school i've been dreaming of ... i hope so. this year's going to be different ... positively, don't ask how do i know it because it's just a feeling and also an intuition.
my freind melissa just called, telling me about when tutoring starts, maybe friday, she said that her mother's getting the schedual tomorrow and she'll text it to me. and on the contrary, not like most of people, i'm happy because i finally get to study, and yes i'm a nerd ... who doesn't look like a nerd at first sight, let me explain, i'm the kind of nerd who sits in the back of the classroom getting in troubles with teachers everytime, who's most of freind's are guys and girls hating me for hanging out with their crushes, but this year i'm so going to minimise my freinds circle and stay only with those whom i trust and equally trust me back. but the most important thing now is i'm happy.
aaaaaaa i'm feeling sooo tired and i'm having a massive back ache, i spent my day fixing a broken nightlamp which was shattered into thousand peices, the reason?? me puniching my own self (yup sounds childish) i took a glue and fixed it, the white lines caused by the glue i covered it with black ink so it doesn't look broken at all, only if you look closely :/
now i reaaaaally got to go get some sleep since i've got to get up early to go to the dentist. nothing serious just checking up :p
goodniight diary and to who ever read this.


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