All Tangled Up
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2014-08-22 11:44:22 (UTC)

A Memory Jolt

Dearest Sophia:

It is funny how something someone writes about or how they live their lives can spark a whole memory. Not that anything the person writes is similar to your situation or the situation of the memory, but the subject or the idea sorta throws you backwards into a time that you may or may not wish to return to. As I stated before, I ran into a diary of a man that is a DOM. Not that I find an attraction to him, but I am always attracted to the idea of being dominated.

So as I read on I start feeling an odd feeling of an old memory. I don't want to forget this memory and I am glad it happened. But with me missing my DOM and I still mourn his death, the feelings that are overcoming me are ones that I miss the most. I miss the forced submission. The whole feel of someone taking full control over me and promising me that if I fulfill my part of the role he is demanding over me, that I will be rewarded with his care and attention. He punishes and he rewards. That's what keeps a Sub coming back for more.

To someone who has never felt this kind of affection, you will never understand. Never. For the most part, I usually suppress the memories and lock them up but once in a while, something I read, a smell, a sound, a man's deep rough voice, a sharp stabbing pain in my chest, or someone that looks similar to my Master can cause the memories to come flying back at me. I miss him and I yearn for him in the worst way.