blueberry

Confessions of a married woman
2014-08-01 22:27:41 (UTC)

Special Delivery...

Hello... sorry about my last post.. grammer errors, spelling errors... etc, but I was typing on my phone. Anyway, I hope you got it all. Talked to J last night and it made my night. He is so sexy. I can't wait to be with him again. I hope he feels the same. We just have such a strong sexual connection! I love it.

Anyway, I pray to God every night to give me clarity, with my life, where it's going, what I want, you know I guess the norm for some people. I don't feel like I'm getting any answers though. I guess it will all come in time.

One thing I always wonder when I'm alone if my "husband" still thinks about me? Do I cross his mind? Does he miss me? Did he really just leave and forget about me? I mean I did tell him not to contact me at all. Did he have to listen? It would be nice to know that I cross his mind and that I just wasn't someone who he forgot in a few weeks. I told him that he was dead to me. Our paths are never going to cross again, ever. So I want all communication cut. After our divorce is finalized... its completely over. We have absolutley NOTHING connecting us any longer. Not even our doggy, which is under both our names.

This morning at around 10:43 am I got a call to my direct line at work, with no caller id. I answered and I repeated myself again.. no answer. The caller hung up. Of course I figured it was him. I even contacted my girlfriends and my sisters to let them know what happned. They all figured it was him. About an hour later I got a call from someone who told me that he was in the front with a flower arrangement. I was like oookay. I'll go downstairs now. I went downstairs to the gate and there was this man with a ginormous flower arrangement, beautiful big red roses, orchids, lillies, hydreneas it is unbelieveably beautiful. I asked who are they from, is there a card? He said no... maybe a secret admire... I said.. I don't think so. Anyway.. no fucking note. Really? How immature can you be? What do these flowers mean? I love you and miss you? I want you back? I am sorry you will be receiving divorce papers in a couple days? What the fuck does this mean??? Seriously? Why do this?!?! At least my question of about him thinking about me is answered. This is only a test. And I will not give in so easily. It is going to take a lot more than flowers to get me back. I just wish he would have added a note, even send me a text right after. I mean does he expect me to text him and say... did you send the flowers, thank you? ... well that's not happening. I'm so bummed. I'm so confused. Geesh!

Whatever it means. There is going to be a lot of work involved. Plus I will feel guilty about the men I've been with. Especially the two special ones. That I would totally go for if they are in town. Ahh... life sucks!

Happy weekend to y'all.




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