So I started dating a man that I dated over 17 years ago. I remember like it was yesterday what it was being with him. the reason that we split up was because of me. I thought the grass was greener on the other side, along with being young, drugs, and just dumb. he has been separated from his ex for over 3 years now. he has a wall up and is afraid to love again. he told me that he was so in love with his ex. he also told me that he was so in love with me. he loved me more then he has ever loved anyone. even his ex. he said that I hurt him so bad that when he found out he went home and he cried so hard and so long. I did love him then and I was in love with him then and I still am. my love for him never went away. he was always on my mind and I thought about him often. I eventually got married and now divorced, but I still thought about him all the time. I got married because I thought that I would never hear from him again or see him again. I thought he wanted nothing to do with me at all. then one day in dec. 2013 he found me on facebook and messaged me. when I saw the message, I could not believe it was him. that he actually reached out to me, he searched me out. I was in awwww. it took me until march, 2014 to respond to him. we started talking and then we met up. when I saw him the feeling just exploded. omg, it was like I was struck by lighting. I knew that I still loved him and that I was still in love with him, but I didn't think that it would be like it was. so we start dating. he tells me that he loves me but he is not in love with me and that he has this brick wall up, and that it will take time for him to fully trust me again and to fall in love with me again if he even can. he knows exactly how I feel. I have not kept anything from him. he makes me truly happy and I am very comfortable around him. I can't wait to see him when I am done work. I love spending time with him, even if it is for 5 mins. he says he wants to take things slow and see what happens. I asked him if he thought he could ever love me like he once did, and he said he was not sure. not everyone gets to experience the love he had for me or the love that I have for him. and I so want that back. I want him to love me like that again and if not like then stronger. he use to be ok with me hugging and kissing on him and now he tells me that I do it too much. he says stuff like, "you always gotta be touching me." I like holding hands and he use too but not so much anymore for him. I don't want to chase him, but I want him to want me and love me like I want him and love him. he will tell me that he loves me but its almost like it's bothering him to say it. and he says he doesn't want to say it until and if he falls in love me. I use to tell him all the time, but I do not say as often as I use too anymore. I am not sure as to what to do with this. should I just back off and let him be? how do I get him to love me like he once did. what do I do? any suggestions will be greatly appreciated. thank you for you time and suggestions.
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