hell on heels

Fuckity Fucks.
2014-07-24 14:12:42 (UTC)

Better, again?

I have come to the conclusion that I am either Bi polar or have multiple personality disorder...or maybe just really bad mood swings. Of course all of this was found through absolutely no scientific research just me making a conscious decision that I am crazy.

I wonder how all these people got here doing this exact same thing, such as walking down the street. Where are we all going? Work, School, maybe to a cafe to meet a friend? Spending money or making money all for what? to buy a house a car the coolest gadget. I am so over how we are all on this path...The American Dream. Yet we aren't happy maybe for a while, than we remember the cold hard facts of life.

For some they went to school their whole life making the better grade, over achieving, getting the scholarship, of course they landed a much better job than I have. And were able to purchase that new car and meet the man of their dreams. I must be a different soul. I am in search of my twin flame, but I feel as if I have many... maybe not a plethora of twin flames, but I connect with so many people. I share such a different dream than my current boyfriend even what friends I have left.

I watched this the other stating that people who move around a lot as kids don't have time to find out who they really are. We are like Chameleons in a way. Fitting in with who we have to while we have to than on to the next. This is not the way I want to live my life, yet it is exactly how I am surviving. I am always just a lost wandering soul. I wonder if that is why I get so antsy all of a sudden I want nothing more than to pack my car with the necessities and leave it all behind. Drive far enough where no one knows my name, doesn't know which I came, nor will they know when the wind picks up and carries me again.

I miss that life, I am not sure if I ever even had it, but damn what a good life it would be. AAR is back in OKC, she is thinking of finishing school to become a teacher, than she will travel over seas and teach Enligsh as a second Language. How beautiful!




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