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2014-07-05 12:33:15 (UTC)

Duller Than Something Dull

"Fall In Love" by Phantogram

Saturday July 5, 2014, 1:33 PM

I might've already said this but I failed being medication free. It made me itchy all over and constantly sick. I'm now down to 25 milligrams of Seroquel and I'm dreading the withdrawal I'll have to once again go through tonight.

That includes insomnia, constant itching, feeling bland, tired, unmotivated, nauseous all the time, and having headaches constantly.

I'm actually feeling nauseous now and I have a headache AND I feel incredibly dulled and unmotivated.

I fucking hate medication.

I can't wait until I'm free of this "miracle" drug.

Everything I do, I do really slowly. I'm trying very hard to clean my room but I'm doing it soooo slowly, folding a pair of pants takes a whole minute. I feel very dull and not energetic at all. I don't feel like doing ANYTHING. Even drinking water sounds tiring.

My emotions are very flat. I'm not sad at all but I'm not too happy. I guess I just feel shitty. The World Cup game between Argentina and the Netherlands is playing in the background.

The game yesterday between Colombia and Brazil was awesome. They had such bromance at the end...

Anyway, so yeah. I feel dull. I don't even want to draw.

I don't want to think. I just want to be energetic and to clean and all that, but my body and mind.. they disagree with me.

I hate battling myself. Ah, my hands are shaky. Wonderful.


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