Yuuki

Snow
2014-06-26 01:48:15 (UTC)

I don't know anymore

Dear Snow,
I think I'm so weak, it seems like the longer this relationship gets the more I get greedy for him, but the more I do the more I get anxious. Does he really love me? or was I just a convenient girlfriend because I was the only one talked to a lot till the early mornings before, maybe he felt like his friends was pushing him to hook up with me because we always seems to be flirting.
I do not know what to do, he's my first boyfriend and I know he's gonna hurt me a lot when he's gone cause I won't and don't know how to deal with it. I love him, I just always hope he does the same. I'm so scared, scared of getting hurt and scared to ask him questions. I feel like he gets bored of me at times he doesn't skype me anymore where before he watches me sleep while he play. I'm scared Andrew, so scared you'll hate me. It's so bad.... I can't talk to anyone about this and the anxiety is too heavy on my heart.
Why is it we ever talk about his ex's I wanna know about them a little bit. I just feel like our relationship and our feeling are just shallow. Why do I get these depressing thoughts at night. I want to see him to get rid of these doubts. Just the sight of him blow all them away put them all in the back of my head.
Andrew I'm scared, I don't want to lose you, I don't want to be this weak I'm scared Andrew I wan't you to reassure me. I don't want to feel this way. It's only been 4 months I don't want to feel this always feel like this. I hurts.


ごめなさい、おやすみみんな
Yuuki

P.S. I'm sorry its kinda depressing, I just wanted to get it out.




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