My Life would be perfect if only........
go back to zeroo
i think im just too pitiful. im not saying i want someone to pity on me. its jut that .......... maybe someone who really love me for what i am
i hate to pretend to be good, i hate to pretend to be bad either. i think i just have some multiple personality which i can change to anything that i want. some part of me saying i should just leave that fellow. some part of me saying i still live him and some part of me just hate him.
its easier in life to put a blame to other people. in my case, when i try to discus it with him, each and every-time the blame will go on me. saying im this , im that, to sensitive, too spoil, too stupid it seems. and too young to be ......
so what am i in his eyes??
why am i being so scared if him, im not leaving on his money. I've been living on my own hard-earn money. i pay for the damn house, the car which i own, the foods, electricity and water bills and etc. and please don't say im so calculative in everything because its true.
after all this years, after everything happen, do i still look ungrateful to him. he said im so weird to begin with. easy for him to say "just forget every single thing happen, its not good to bear grudge". when he himself cant take any single comments from other, not even from me without blowing off anger.
im so tired of everything, maybe his too good for an inept like me. i wont and would not stop him anymore if one more time he said "we better of without each other".