blueshiva12

Life as I Know it
2014-06-18 23:24:28 (UTC)

passive aggressive

So I've been told I'm passive aggressive by a co worker at work. She is someone that I keep having problems with. I think I can be sometimes. In this case, I feel like I was not. Ok, maybe a little. But honestly, she gets mad over the littlest things, so I kinda feel like it doesnt really matter what I do. She's still going to get upset. I'm starting to get angry and to dislike her. Mostly, I want to be a stubborn bitch and actually start being passive aggressive towards her. What I'll probably end up doing is being more considerate.
I feel very insecure lately. I meditated for the first time yesterday in over a year. It felt really nice, very relaxing, and weird. I'm pretty sure I have an issue with my heart chakra. I felt some sort of wound there while I was meditating.
I feel lost and confused and a bit like there's no hope left for me. I need to find something positive and fulfilling in this life. I need to find my happiness and who I am. I don't want to be this depressed, insecure, mopey person anymore. I want to shine. I want to find light. I want to be good.
Today, I don't know what I feel. All I can do is remember I'm human and whole. Imperfect and flawed. Light and dark all in one package. This dark period in my life will pass. So will this heartbreak and the huge gaping hole that I feel in my heart right now. To myself, I pose these questions. Next time, I will answer them.
What do you need to be happy and emotionally fulfilled?
Why do you place so much value on having a man in your life?
Why are you so insecure?
Why do you want to give up and end things every time time things go bad?
Where do you see yourself in five years?
Why are you so afraid?
And lastly, why do you think there's anything wrong with you?




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