kiddo16

NaivetY & ChildhooD LefT BehinD
2014-06-16 23:02:30 (UTC)

Unsure what the future lays

Such nice timing. When everything seems to be heavy, the letter that we've so not waited for came in. It was decided that our new house will be ready in July/Aug. That period, it's so close. I feel like crying. Knowing everything at home becomes so heavy, now this thing has to come. This is how fate has been for me. I didn't know this will ever become reality. I kept dreaming that someone... a prince of some sort will save me and bring me out of this misery. But I soon come to realise that's not going to happen to me. I haven't been lucky all my life to receive such treatment. So now I'm coming to terms with this situation. Being somewhere that I'm left with no choice.. no turning back, left or right... just ahead. That's how it is. I really can't imagine how things will be like from now on. Sometimes or maybe all the time, I can't help envy my friends.. those who have their princes of some sort saving them from this tricky situation. But I guess time will tell.. time will mature my mind. Right now I'm 27. It'll be 8 more years before I get to buy my own home. By then, things would have been different. I'll become more independent...not kept thinking about some princes. And I guess even then when a prince really do appear, I would think I'm better off fending myself. I don't know.. this life totally feels unreal to me..it's like I'm watching a drama unfolding but this time round the main lead is me. Truth be told, I no longer have any faith with my future. I'm just taking every step forward just because of God. Because He told me to continue staying here until the time comes. Till then, I'll have to be patient and face bravely to any challenges that comes at me. Dear God, I'm very tired.




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