The Real Me
Wow I just found out I have the power to make someone feel depressed.
I went on a date with this guy- Hans a month ago and on the last date he was acting very weird and giddy. So I asked him if he's ok etc he starts telling me he's depressed and that its because of this friends who have been bitching about him, so im like " Im basically a rebound for the friends you lost" and he said yes. Regardless I tried to make him feel better but it was near impossible. I felt this need to want to help him because I felt bad and well the night ended short I went home and we didnt speak again until today, he messaged me telling me "you know the last time I spoke to you do you know how shit and depressed you made me feel? I locked myself away for 3 weeks" How can someone just say that to me? Just put the blame on me for their depression.
Things like this make me feel quite bad, do I just drag people down? Is their actions my fault? Im being ridiculous ofcourse its not but the past week people have been blaming me for everything thats going wrong with them. For example my cousin blaming me for her getting drunk and her mum blaming me and now this guy that I dont even know. Its so unfair to make me responsible for that kind of crap. WTH man, and I cant even get angry at him because I know he's fragile. But Its just ridiculous why arnt people taking responsiblity for their own actions? I dont put shit on other people, I stand own up to my problems or mistakes, I just feel like everyone thinks Im a bad person and they should stay away from me.Thats the message Im getting. Not that I give a shit. They can go eff themseleves. well technically I gave a shit by writing this out but hey quick vent over it, now Im over it, who gives a crap,this is bulshit.