Dinoraur.

Reality.
2014-06-14 12:57:12 (UTC)

Skate.

I sang infront of about twenty people last night with Taylor. I sounded HORRIBLE because I was shaking unbelievably bad. I can't believe I did that. Ughhh. That was bad. Scary. Oh well. I did it. I did it..
Let's see. I'm supposed to state what is wrong today, but I don't know. Let's trying just listening. That seems to work better than typing a lot out.
I. Hate. Scott.
I hate my mom.
I freaking hate alcohol. Ugh.
I seriously miss my boyfriend. I don't get to see him right after vacation like I was supposed to.. And that seriously sucks.
Tomorrow is Father's Day. I'm not with my grandma, so I can't go to where my dad is burried. Also, Scott will probably try pulling the, "Daddy loves you crap." Or he will be in a horrid mood because his dad just died this year. I feel no sympathy for him. I will flip out if he tries anything. My dad is dead too. He has no excuses.
I just really want to see my daddy..
I really want my boyfriend..
Um. I hate everyone.
Let's see. I'm pretty upset he deleted that thing on Facebook. Dumb reason to be upset, but listen. My cousin commented on it, and he was agreeing with me. My boyfriend then deleted it because, "He was being so dumb, and reading it just made my IQ drop, so instead of insulting them, I just deleted it."
Really? Why couldn't they just say what they wanted, and you leave them alone. I stared my opinion, which is different from yours. Why aren't you insulting me? Why do you need to insult anyone? Is it okay for you to have your opinion, and no one else can think different? You can express what you feel, and no one else can? Why would you have to insult him? Really. Just let him comment!! Why delete it all. Don't like it, don't read it. Idunno. That upset me.. My cousin and I agreed on the subject. Of course, I didn't get to read the last comment. But, does that mean I'm stupid and decreasing your IQ?
What else. Idunno. I feel really panicky and jittery. My stomach was so tight and in pain yesterday. I feel like I'm falling apart. I'm okay with that, but I wish I'd fall apart quicker.. Ugh. Um. I'm just feeling upset I guess. I want to be with him so badly. I think I'd feel better at least knowing the next time I can see him..
I'm going to try and find time to be alone tomorrow to call grandma. I also need to tell her Hershey Park is off.
SHIT. Crap crap crap crap.. Crap. Kill me now. Crap.
I didn't make my daddy a card.. Crap. That's seriously... UGH.
Whatever..
I'm just feeling upset. I feel like I want to close up, because I really don't want to fight with him again. We were soo close to fighting yesterday. So so so close. Watch us end up fighting today.. Ugh. I don't care anymore though. I don't care. I'm always messing u. I should just get use to fights. Every fight seems to be said that it was something I did. "If you would just ______ we wouldn't have this fight!"
I know! Whatever.
Um. I don't know what to say. I'm just tired, and cold, and. I don't know. I can't really say what is wrong. There is no reasonable excuse to be upset, I just am. All this stuff posted(which isn't really a list like I said I would make it) is just excuses to try and make me being upset seem fair. But it's not. It's no excuse.. I'm jusr screwed up, and upset.
I'm sorry...


I got something for my boyfriend yesterday. Idunno. I hope he likes it.
I found a "hippy(ie)" store on the boardwalk. Taylor and I are going back to it today! I think I'm going to get one of the tree of life necklaces. They have a cool meaning, if you find the right one. Some people use it for idiotic religion apparently, but that isn't what it is. My peace necklace now is falling apart at the hole I always use, so I put it at the next bigger hole, but. Idunno. I really hope it doesn't break. I love this necklace, and I wear it every single day. It's a perfect length, and, I just love it. I should soon invest in a new one though.. It'll probably break.. Idunno. Maybe it won't. Maybe it's fine. I hope!
Anyway, I guess I'll shut up, and get ready for the day... Erg. I don't want tp swim. -_-
I love you, sosososo much. I hope to prove it one day how much I do.. He needs tp know. He just must. I love you TSGS. Forever and ever.




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