The Real Me
Its one of those days, well weeks where nothing new has really happened. Apart from birthdays, parties, bitchiness and usual friend drama. You would think at the age of 24 some things would change, evidently not. I guess I’ve been taking life pretty easily. No new men In my life- still single not really looking at all. Kissed a few….and certainly got into this extremely bad habit for talking to men only when I want something, usually its contionous free drinks and a paid cab back home. I seriously don’t like anyone at all and you know how I like that buzz though and would love to. As for friends…Ive recently realized I really don’t have that many…well ones that I like a lot. Diana was my best friend and it felt like she just sort of stabbed me in the back/went off into the sunset with her bf never to care or return again.
I still went to Diana's birthday it went on for 2 whole weeks. Couldn’t help feeling a little jealous, Mark got her so many gifts etc and its so weird because he did all this for her and her friends yet he was bitching about her to me for a good hour telling me how he’s going to break up with her etc because she’s so immature and childish and doesn’t give him sex like a normal individual. Whatever a normal person is meant to be. Anyway so a day after that here he goes organising a Limo to take us all to a club, with a booked table and free champs all night. The next day was spa treat called “sparkies” with drinks, mani, pedi, massage and a performance for all us girls which yet again he booked. And then he bought her a holiday to dominic rebublic. The hell? So why you bitching about her to me? Jesus I don’t understand relationships anymore, I guess I cant be one to talk though.
It did turn out to be a great night, lots of pictures. Except a few dramas took place, such as me stupidly inviting my idiotic cousin to come to Diana’s birthday, this idiot got smashed out of her face and the security kicked her out at 12, I made sure she got a cab. My guy mate got her the cab went home with her and came all the way back. And the whole time she was blaming me and screaming at me. Grow the FUK up. Take some shitting responsibility for yourself, her mother decided to blame me, yet she’s only 9 months younger than me, and 23 years old for gods sake- and that’s the highlight of my shit family- I always have got the blame for her actions, ALWAYS-0 ever since I was a child and its just unfair. Anyways we havnt spoken since (this happened last Saturday). After the night ended, Mark and Diana were going home and all the couples (I was pretty much the only single one there) and then Diana said “Mark, H might aswel get the cab with us as shes alone” he said no, and they literally were ok with me “figuring out how to get home” by myself. How fuking shit and selfish can you get. Heres the thing in a normal scenario I wouldn’t care, I don’t expect people to take care of me. But it’s the fact that me and Diana were like sisters- ride or die. Well more like I was her bloody caretaker and always there for her. Clearly her feelings were to just use me. And that’s how I feel like a fool for trusting her and the minute she started making money she got a massive ego and then when I tried to better my life- her jealousy got the better of her…to the point where she was routing for my downfall. Its messed up…but I guess im over it now.
Still seeing her this Friday alongside the other girls as its Zoeys Birthday.