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2014-05-26 00:29:23 (UTC)

fuck it

Depressing day like most I'm slowly sinking in my own sadness
how pathetic... honestly it sucks i wish i can just take everything out of me that i know. What's haunting me,one thing is religion quiet frankly i was religious but now i have no right to say I'm christian sucks, i had a good "bond" with "god" i suppose i don't know young & dumb seems like a fact for the most part. I stop using tumblr that website. yeeeah but now i am back on it. Saddens me i should stop using it but i can't it's like a addiction i have no self worth without it. Everyone seems to have it going on friends,family,money. All of it seems like shit no? i think so friends are just fake as hell none of them think the way i do family suck and are there for you at the best and gone at the worst. Money well who doesn't like it i sure do but atm i despise it so much everyone seems to have my mom has enough not more to buy clothes and etc. fuck it. I do write poems at time i have many but of course poems that are unread but others. They probs suck anyways fuck i don't know. I wish i can have one FRIEND a true one who is like me who thinks like me instead of attacking me and trying to do what i do i just want one who was born like me so we can talk i wonder. Everyone in the world is 100% and out of it 50 of them are suffering or depressed etc. the other is rich, have problems they caused on their own, family, friends,boy/girlfriend. While people like myself have nothing only enough for a human which is of course i'm grateful but its not enough for me i want what everyone else has. I hate watching youtube things & going on clothes websites because everyone has it all good and gravey i don't mind it in real because i never go out but seeing it on websites of girls ranting about everything they have or do all the time seems fun. I would have no problem if i had everything they had honestly.