Cryingsilently

Trust No One
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2014-05-12 14:06:54 (UTC)

My life in waves!

Have you ever asked yourself why life had to be a certain way, or why pain never eases? Its been almost 4 months now, and no real changes in my life have occured. I keep hearing from him that maybe nothing is wrong with him, and how he is feeling is normal..With that being said maybe what he feels is normal, but I strongly feel if you cant overcome the past, and forgive someone then there is a proper way to leave them then to get drunk, and physically hurt them. In my case almost killed me!
All of the past that is being over came is from while we was split up, and I know for the longest time I was lost, but within the last year I found God and am growing with him.Realizing that all the emptiness, the holes I felt from within could be filled with the love of God.. Once I was scared to be alone, and now I know I am never alone, and have turned my life around. My family means the world to me but the physical abuse has been going on for 8 years, and only getting worse. The things my kids have seen, and the emotional hurt they have had to go through I just dont know if it is worth it anymore. Its like he is making what he did to me okay because of past nistakes I made while we was split up things that if he tried he could overcome, but how could I have overcome being dead I feel like what he did was more selfish.. I feel like he is being selfish day in and day out to keep hanging on, and not letting me go. I feel so lost, and sometimes I think well what if I havent tried like he says but I know I have tried, and still headed in the right direction but so lost and confused ):


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