MollyMiller

Flying Away
2014-04-29 04:37:18 (UTC)

I Can't

I can't do this anymore. I can't pretend that I am happy with where we are. You aren't someone I can talk about to anyone. This secret is eating at me. The only reason I tell you about other guys that are interested in me is to make you jealous; to get some kind of reaction out of you. But nothing ever comes of it. The things you tell me, I want to believe, I really do. I just can't. I ask you how any of this is fair to me, but then I look at the situation, the situation I put myself in. It's not fair. But you aren't to blame. I'm falling for who you are. The way you talk. Your OCD tendencies. Your pessimistic outlook on life. I can't ever think of anything I don't like about you; except for the fact that you are married. Unhappy or not. Your age? I can get passed that. The fact that you go home to her every night? No.
I'm perceived as the home wrecker, to anyone who is reading this. I shouldn't have even looked twice at you months ago. But I did. And I made the move. And I chose to sleep with you. And I let myself fall for you. You; the cheater, the liar, the guy no girl should be with. I see passed all of that. I see who you really are and try so hard to be. I look up to you. You are someone so special; and no one sees it.
No matter how much I hate this entire situation I put myself in, no one is forcing me to stay. I can leave. I know I can; and if I wanted to, I would have...




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