LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
2014-04-22 14:43:11 (UTC)

Dreamy Dreams


"So Says I" by The Shins

"Nothing At All" Alternate Version - The Shins

[slowish, indie songs today from my favorite band who strangely enough doesn't represent my music taste... just like my fellow favorite band, Paramore, could never represent this whole other half of music I like; The Shins, DCFC, and wow I'm going off on a tangent before even starting the entry.]


Tuesday April 22, 2014 3:45 PM


Happy Earth Day. Tomorrow is my birthday. My dad used to call it an Earth Day Birthday.

Why am I writing this entry?

I had a weird dream the other night. I shoveled snow (even though it was cold out) off like a mile of sidewalk. Our neighbor, who was this kid from school (not my actual neighbor) was claiming he shoveled the whole thing to his dad. I got mad and went outside.

His dad disappeared and the kid turned into a nameless tall, blonde dude wearing armor. I got pissed so before his dad vanished, I said, "He's a fucking liar!!! I shoveled all this shit!!"

Then, me and the guy got in a fight. Not an argument, no, a mothahfucking FIGHT. For some reason, I was amazing at fighting. Like I new all the moves, and what to do and somehow even though I wasn't as strong as him, I fucked him up. I remember rolling on the ground and flipping onto him and elbowing him in the stomach. I remember when he tried pinning me down I knee'd him in the face.

I know he was defeated so I punched him in the face but it landed too softly and I said, "Oh... That was supposed to be harder."

The guy (who was on the ground) nodded at me in sympathy and was like, "Go ahead."

I said, "Thanks," and punched him again. And then again in the face until my punch was hard enough so that his face flashed into a grinning skull and then back again.

I went back to my house excited that I beat someone up and didn't understand when my parents were mad. I angrily left the house and blah blah somehow the guy and I ended up dating.

Why have my dreams been so strange lately? It's either death or dating.

Lately. Why did I say lately? I have vivid dreams because of my vivid freaking brain chemistry. It's like this because I have some kind of trauma -- not like PTSD because of anything like that, but trauma because of what hAPPENED to me last year. I traumatized myself! So since then, I've been having nightmares.

This particular dream was not a nightmare. Was it a nightcplt? Haha... get it, 'cause, a mare is a female horse and a colt is a man horse... Hah.


Alright I was gonna write about this other kid who I was talking to in school today (I don't know what I called him... Possibly James or something, I don't know. I'll call him Jonah) but I don't feel like it. I'll sum it up: he reminds me of Ethan a LOT and I like him which makes me wonder why people are ever mean to him. He's not annoying so why do people say he is?

It's like that kid, Thomas, who sat at our table earlier this year and Aaron and her two other friends were mean to him and then in return he got kinda mean and then they wondered why. IT WAS BECAUSE OF THEM. I must admit, I should've been nicer to Thomas myself because he's actually cool.

Seeing through other people's eyes is sometimes blinding.

You're caught in the way they think and it twists your own natural thoughts. After all, humans want to fall in line with those they like. It's instinct.


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