bear cub

musings of life
2014-04-17 08:41:10 (UTC)

Plaid is outdated

You can't have plaid on your furniture
That shits for Scots and 70's kids
Listen to the interior designer
He's got a mouthful of words to inspire

I don't even know what to say or how to feel. I want so much in my life and I'm in this position where I can do so much when I put enough energy into it. I felt what it was like to be into a girl and get her to like me. Lean into me, hug me, feel me. Sometimes I have to search for things to say. Really hard. I don't mind the uncomfortable silence but I know other people cant handle it. Honestly I don't mind sitting there saying nothing. Except for Jesi. When it's quiet I feel compelled to play music or fill it with something. I don't know why. It's as though the silence communicates something unsaid I don't want to hear.

I don't know what it means to feel anymore. I just want to use people. Is that so bad? I feel like every thing I do is just manipulating and controlling and people don't even realize it. I don't understand at all.




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