LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
2014-04-12 17:17:19 (UTC)

Minecraft and Other Things (Mostly other things)

"Riptide" by Vance Joy

I was scared of dentists and the dark
I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations

"Split Needles" by The Shins

It's like I'm perched on the handle bars,
Of a blind man's bike,
No straws to grab, just the rushing wind,
On the rolling mind,

Saturday April 12, 2014 6:14 PM


Today is the first official day of spring break and... woot!!!

Time to catch up, because I've been behind on recording my life which sucks. This site is and was important to me.

I guess I'll begin with saying that last year, on this day... Well I was in a psychiatric hospital. In fact, one year ago today might've been the day I was released. I was very happy that day because I had no idea that in about a week I'd be right back in that brightly colored hospital where the grass was actually too green. Terrible times.

I may have already said this, but I'm on a new medication for anxiety: Lamictol. Soon, I'll be up to one hundred milligrams. Four months from now, my doctor may lower my doses of wellbutrin and seroquel!!!!

I'm still having ups and downs. My anxiety comes and goes every couple weeks. I've noticed it gets really bad, then it practically disappears for two weeks, then it slowly returns, disappears, and so on.

Up and down and up again.

I'M VERY HAPPY.

Why?

BECAUSE.

Laney and I have been doing a project these past couple months. It was for Olympics of the Visual Arts. We were in the photography category even though I am better at drawing. Thursday was the big day where we go to a city about an hour away (I remember thinking it was funny that a year ago, I had been in the same city only I had been in a hospital) and present our projects.

We won an award in our category! We got a plaque and everything! I am still so happy about this.

Speaking of Laney, we've gotten a lot closer, or at least I'd like to think. Like I've said before, I have a vulnerability issue. I'm working on it, little by little. I have this thing where I never let anyone come over to my house. Like I said, strange vulnerability problems.

I actually let Laney come over... Twice in the same weekend and then again later that week.

We've been hanging out and talking a lot and this makes me happy. Right now, she's my closest friend.

I still miss being really close to Lily but I'm sure that everything will be okay. That's what i tell myself.

This entry bothers me because it's so fucking happy. I love writing about dark and disturbing things but hopefully all that will come from what remains of my depression.

That nightmare of Lily dying still kind of haunts me but my nightmares have diminished greatly. I've been waking up without feeling like a just left a terrible world, and that's good.

I miss them. I do. I shouldn't like nightmares since they freak me the fuck out but... I don't know, something about that world drew me in. Nightmares about running from murderers and being caught in a creepy labyrinth...

Okay, self, WHY DOES THIS ATTRACT ME.

(Because you love anything dark and creepy and disturbing, remember?)

Oh yeah.


Oh, wow, look at the time. It seems that now is.... FAN GIRL TIME.


I'm reading House of Hades (supposedly by Rick Riordan, but there are so many books by him coming out so fast, I wonder if it's even him anymore).

The new characters mostly suck because they're PAPER THIN. I like Hazel but seriously, her personality is practically the same as Piper's. Frank's okay, too, but he's JUST like Jason.

Leo is awesome because he's pretty unique and I have a soft spot for fellow latinos.

Annabeth as always is my favorite female character ever next to Hermione (the Harry Potter characters were sooo much more realistic).

Percy is fine but I really miss seeing the world from first person point of view. It's not the same in third person.

I don't think the book is great but I need to finish the series soooo....


I got to go. Sorry this entry is scattered and random and lacks an introduction and conclusion.

I'm tired of writing because school and OVA (art olympics) tired me out. Everyday for the past few weeks I've been working from eight to like five PM and on weekends I had to do the project too.


I JUST REALIZED: I forgot to mention I have been spending A LOT more time out of the house which is strange considering I just got minecraft.

I'M SO AFRAID OF EASY MODE.

Ok bye


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