2014-04-11 22:09:54 (UTC)

the depression stage

He told me he didn't want to get involved with me again, that I hurt him too much the first time to go through it all again... It felt like someone ripped my heart out of my chest and jumped on it like some form of bouncy castle, it's been a week since I last saw him, smelt him, heard his voice, held him, kissed him and it's killing me to face that i'm not gonna do it again. I cant believe I didn't realise how in love with him I am and now he's gone! For 5 days all I did was mope and cry, at any point I was alone i'd break down, I honestly dont know what to do now, i've managed to smile a few times in the part 2 days but as soon as a smile I think of him and I get upset again, I cant replace him, infact I dont want to, if I cant have him I dont want anyone, I need him, more than most things and i'm finding it really hard to cope without him.