Finally got some sleep
Finally, I got a few hrs of sleep. Actual peaceful sleep. It's been weeks since I got some peaceful sleep. No nightmares. Unfortunately, It was at around 8PM. Woke up at midnight and here I am since. lol Still good to get some sleep.
I so miss the days when my biggest concerns were having the greener lawn than the "Jones's" or rolling up in my rating in my dart league. Fast forward to present times and I'm just hoping to get a good night's rest. I'll build up on the 8 hrs one of these days. lol
Love life? Pffft!! I need to relearn (yes once again) how to love myself again before I even look down that rabbit trail. Knowing what kind of person I am and having the aura of that same person are two different things. I know what kind of person I am but your emotions will bring something else out of you. Hard to explain. I guess it's like that saying that dogs can smell your fear. I think people can sense a damaged soul too. I just hope I'm not delusional like my ex when she says she is a "good woman". lol
Last Tuesday, I actually had to drag my ass out to play my new dart league. I play on Mondays and that was ok. I figured two nights a week would be good for me to get out of this slump in life. To be honest, I had no desire to play and was seriously contemplating quitting and had every intention to do so. At the end of playing that night, I decided to stick it out. I figure it's good for me to be out of the house.
I'm also still contemplating buying this pool table that I saw last week. I have to thank the ex for clearing out the living room enough for me to fit a pool table in there. I'm sort of excited about that. Anything that isn't "doom and gloom" has to be good for me. I just wish it wouldn't cost me a thousand bucks to do so. :) But hey, finances at the moment has changed somewhat and my budget for personal things has now increased ever so slightly with the new situation I'm in.
My buddies have lots of camping events planned this summer. Lots of CA lakes to visit. So of course, this means I'll be needing to get a better kayak than the inflatable one that I have. I love kayaking. It's so visually awesome to see nature from a different view. Also, the fishing is great on a kayak and wether I like it or not, it's great exercise.
I just need to get my ass out of this slump. OK, it's now 2:25AM. i should take one sleeping pill to get myself back to sleep. Hope to get another 3 hrs sleep.