MissFlowr_MTL

NewLifeinMTL
2014-04-07 17:35:34 (UTC)

i dont even know what to do anymore. . . .

me and my ex are still on a break but it just seems like everything turns into a fight. we just get mad at each other over little things or whatever. he told me recently that he feels like he doesnt get to see the real me and that i show him the shell that i show everyone else and that he feels like he doesnt know the real me. and that the real me which he says he's only seen a few times but he loves the real me. but today we started fighting he's getting mad at me for not being able to just magically switch everything around and be the "real" me all the sudden. he gives me all of 2 days to completely get rid of all the junk people have convinced me i am and make completely original thoughts about myself. and when i said that maybe we should take a real break and not talk to each other for a while he got mad cuz he equates me wanting a break to figure things out on my own to me wanting to get away from him entirely forever and he said that if i go he's not sure if he'll welcome me back when i'm ready to come back. i dont even know what to say or do anymore. . . . i have been trying to jump through these hoops cuz he's trying to show me the way into adulthood cuz i really need to take these steps anyway. but no matter what i do or how i try to do it i am never doing it right. i want him and i want us to be together cuz i know i need to help him. but i just dont even know what the next step is with the relationship.




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