Experienced Life
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2014-03-30 14:38:08 (UTC)

It's only the afternoon and already pondering

I usually post late at night when it's quiet and not much else to do. However, here I am in the afternoon and already posting. What do I do now? I've already committed to a life goal of taking care of two children. That has been yanked out from under me and I understand that.

So what to do now? I mean what real things do I do now? Sure, I can go back to the gym ( I know I need to be there anyway), hook up with friends, spend a little more time at work, and pretty much get off my ass and go out in the world and get busy. I just don't know how. Inspiration has really not been there anymore. How many times do I do the right thing and move on? How many times do I tell myself something which I already know that "I can only control my actions and no one else's? "

I'm just tired. A soul can get tired I think. I know there are many paths that have opened up for me in life now that the kiddos are gone. I just wanted to do something that I thought was more important and that was to make sure someone else in life gets a little help to reach their full potential. Now that this is not an option, I'm a little lost.

This freaking three bedroom house is just too big for just me too. Still have 5-6 months left on my lease. I should have know from the past that the ex wasn't going to be cooperating and her goals seem to be as stable as the weather.

i hope something pops up soon. I'm really out of ideas and just skating thru life is a waste of time. I've met some friends here and I'm at least glad that they are doing better.
One just got married and the other recently gave birth. Maybe I'm the wash that keeps the other end balanced in life?

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