secretsconsume

Torture at its finest
2014-03-29 08:11:13 (UTC)

Fifty shades of fucked up

Why do I constantly block myself out from everything.

I think back to the past and try to remember when everything turned into a nightmare. Id like to think that maybe I had a chance once, and maybe had I tried hard enough life could have been perfect.

See its easier to think that I at least had a chance rather than the universe hating me. I believe that someone, or something, out there hates me more than I do.

As long as I can remember I've been dealt the worst hand from the deck, and I don't mean to sound go all "whoa is me" on you, but this is how I feel, and I'm finished apologizing for it.

I'm not going to pretend like I'm innocent I've done a ton of messed up things in my lifetime, and I'm a horrible person but I still am a person, and I have feelings just like everyone else, and they get hurt just as much as everyone else.

If you knew me in real life you would be stunned at how easily I can camouflage myself into a bright eyed, fun loving girl, most people would consider me the happiest person they know.

I do drugs, while only pot. But it's not anything casual for me. I steal, and I'm a hell bent on messing up everything close to me, including my relationship with my mom which was finally starting to improve.

I stole money from her. Not exactly something I'm proud of, but It sucks more that I got caught. Please don't be quick to judge me like everyone else at least I'm being truthful right now.

I think im going to go,goodnight




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