The Anonymous Writer

The Journal With No Name
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2014-03-27 18:11:41 (UTC)

Spring Ba-ha-ha-amas

Spring just got a little more exciting. All it took was to thrown in a 5-day cruise, 2 close family friends, and a chance to work out with some of the nicest equipment! I'm serious! This is NOT a joke. My spring boring has during in spring Ba-ha-ha-amas.

I'll be doing plenty of laughing. I'll be doing plenty of relaxing. I'll be doing plenty of everything on this trip. Well, when I say everything though I really just mean everything, but math and tennis and debate. My 3 most stressful factors in my life. In which is perfect because I'm so fucking done with math, my shoulder is aching, and I really don't have an excuse for debate, but just pretend I do ;-) (I love it too much.)

I'm just worried that my fatness is going to consume most of my enjoyment on this trip. One of the family friends is a really cute boy my age and another is a boy I have had a secret thing for for a while. (It's not a thing really at all anymore, but it's just fun to think about, okay? Gosh.)

I know I should be all, "It's my personality that matters." However your physique matters TOO. I let myself go. It will show when I put on a bikini, especially when I stand next to the girls that I'm going with because they are BEYOND skinny. Ugh, I'm a little mad at myself, but at the same time it gives me motivation to work out a lot. In fact I've decided to lose .5 lbs every week. If I can get to my weight goal, 115 lbs, by October 4th then I'll be the most ecstatic girl ever!! Also by the time August roles around I'll be SOO much lighter that I'll be able to fit in my last years shorts. In fact I might even be too loose for them! I just can't be any fatter than when I left that year (3 years ago) because I'm supposed to be walking out of my "Puberty years coat". It's still on me though. I've had it forever. In fact it's still growing..



P.S. I'm also really fucking worried that I'll miss a lot of my tennis skill on this cruise. I've already missed so many fucking months, which is why I didn't want to go on this cruise in the first place!! I just have to suck it up for my mom. She does work hard. At the same time though, I have to lay down the law; My mom wants to stay an additional couple days in Florida. Time that could be better spent in my home or on the courts. How do I convince her this?

P.S.S. Jamie is coming with me. Of course. Luckily, my dad told me I get the nod with everything! This is the first. We'll see how it goes.

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