All night long without muttering a word
This is how it's been for a little over a week now. Come home, clean the little mess I made then clean the big mess they made from the move. I come up with little things that I throw away. Parts of old toys, flash cards for my 8 yr old, kid's books, clothes, etc. I need to get those things out so as not to remind me about them. That's the only way I know how to cope with this. Anything that reminds me of the kids, I throw away.
I was just thinking today that when I get home from work, I can go all night without saying a word. No one here to talk to but at the same time at least the house is getting cleaner everyday since they left.
I missed my good friend's wedding last Saturday. My ride couldn't make it. She had a friend of hers pass away from suicide. Makes me think. This girl must've been overwhelmed with problems and decided to check out. No fucking around. She probably tried, didn't like the situation she was in so she checked herself out. I guess some people are just too tired to fight anymore. Sounds pretty much like what I feel right now.