BeautifulMistake

LesbianGirlWholeNewWorld
2014-03-25 09:21:52 (UTC)

It's Not Getting Any Easier...

Saturday morning. The day I came to terms, that we were over. Only 2 days after the anniversary that meant nothing. Only 4 weeks to the day since you proposed to me. And now everything I ever thought I wanted... Everything I worked so hard for... Everything just gone in a matter of minutes. The week before was the worst though. Monday March 10th I come home to what I think is going to be a great evening with you and what I saw is unexplainable. Yet, I can't get the images out of my head. How dare you cheat on me!? I left. I couldn't stand there and watch for one more second. I think I stood there for 30 seconds, but it felt like an hour. And now every time I close my eyes, it's all I see. It's all I hear. It consumes me.
But even after that, even after walking into that, I was willing to give you another chance because without you I was so unhappy. Without you, my life just wasn't complete. You promised me the world once again. Said it was a lapse in judgement. Whatever. The texts on your phone Saturday morning said different. I am so glad though that you thought it was okay to play with my feelings. I am so glad that I gave you another chance to just destroy my life all over again.
I believe in Karma. I honestly do. But to be honest, I wish you nothing but the best. I am so angry with you and the things you did to me, but I am more angry at myself for accepting those things like it was okay. It wasn't okay. The first time wasn't okay. There should have been no going back. That should have been it. But the love I had for you overpowered my brain. Everything in my head told me to stay away but my heart needed to feel whole again, even if it was just for once more.

I never thought that the "once more" would literally, almost kill me. I am so lost without you. I am in pieces. You left me here to pick all of this up by myself.




Ad: