Time Flies

Tempis Fugit
2014-03-17 14:50:45 (UTC)

being young and in love

Last night I ran to a fast food joint, saw the line was 10 deep and went inside to get dinner for me and my wife. I was alone.

I went in, waited my turn and as I was waiting a girl came in with her grandmother. She was the spitting image of a young Rebecca. I had to force myself to not stare at her. I placed my order and waited for my food sitting purposefully in a chair not facing them. Then they sat in front of me. I am a people watcher so, I was looking at everyone, but saw her look at me several times. She was very happy and talking with her grandma. I found myself remembering things about my old Rebecca's face that I had forgotten. Like her imperfect skin on her face. My memory was of course that her face was flawless, but in reality, it was not. In reality, I loved the "flaws". I always thought they added character. The unwitting victim and cause of my rememberances, the young teen, she had flawless skin.

I found myself quite sad. I sat there much of the time just looking at random things about the floor, or parts of the chairs. What I was remembering was the fight I had with my wife yesterday. She kept telling me that I was raising my voice at my son and daughter. That I was being physically intimidating to my son. That I was out of line. The thing was, he was eating cereal on the couch and I was trying to instill a "newish" habit in him of not making a mess. When he would start eating in a way that I knew would make a mess I'd ask him if he was doing it right. With my daughter, I had just asked her to put something away. My wife walked in not having listened and asked her to do something else right then. I interjected that she was already doing something else. My wife didn't like that I guess.

I was in a really good mood yesterday until she cornered my in the bathroom and started yelling at me. I didn't raise my voice for at least 30 minutes. Then I couldn't help it. I let loose. Telling her that she was the reason I was in a bad mood that until she started yelling at me until she cornered me in the bathroom I was not in a bad place. That if she needed to get her stress out, I got that but to not take it out on me. I was really hurt by her actions and words.

So when this girl walked into the restaurant and reminded me of the time where I was so perfectly in love, when I was youthful and without cares, I really just wanted to thank her for bringing back the memories and unwittingly allowing me to remember what was important. Love and peace.

I never spoke to her. I'm really not creepy like that. I just drew a small smiley face in the snow on a table on the way out. Spread a little happiness to all. Pay forward the happiness that she reminded me of.

I did cry on the way home.




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