Fragmenteddreams

My story
2014-03-10 09:04:37 (UTC)

More about me

I guess this is going back to my first entry. I have been thinking how despite having many questions about life. That hopefully someone or something of a higher power will answer one day. I have relized I am just one person. A person whom is weak and struggles and is stuck in a rut myself. Yet others lean upon me.
I am nothing special really. I am kinda a big dork and someone who spends far to much time by themself. I mean in the end I have been saved by a fandom I guess. I got my friends through cosplay... Those friends assumed I was well liked in school and had lots of friends, nope school was he'll for me. I had many thoughts about ending my life. I couldn't because ther was a few people I couldn't leave behind despite my own unhappiness.
I spent one of my summers watching the third lord of the rings movie every night because it made me happy... So like I sad for those who say I'm something special I'm not. I mean I hate morning I have issues sleeping at night. My mind wanders all over the place. I tend to be a bit distant to what's going on. I have met so many great people already and I'm just someone who is left behind.
I am as I say a disposable friend I'm there when you need me. But then you can just push me aside when your done. Why not I'm just the weirdo who spews nonsense often.
I tend to keep to myself and push others away so they can't get to k ow me due to my fear of being hurt even more. I know that in the end I'm going to end up alone that's what always happen to people like me. Hell it doesnt even matter that I can't become perfect. I already see myself as something less then a living breathing human being. I'm a disgrace to my parents. I don't deserve to be happy. I deserve all the scars self inflicted on me. I'm just nothing that's all that great...




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