2014-03-01 00:14:30 (UTC)

So he doesn't give me any..

So he doesn't give me any attention, we haven't had a conversation in the past 3days... I always start conversations and I can't help but "give in"... I really love him but he acts like such an asshole.. I wish he would just make time for me... He claims he loves me amd doesn't wanna give up on us and I should get that out of my head and he isn't leaving... Then why haven't we had a proper conversation in a while? Why hasn't he told me he loves me in the past 3 days? Why do I have to beg for his fucking attention? Why does he make me feel like I am the only fucking person that's tryiNg to make whatever this is work... Bcs there's no fucking point in telling me that you want to spend the rest of your life with me and be with me and have a family with me but you never fucking show me that you love me... Its fraustrating when idk how you feel, its fraustrating when you never have time for me and make me feel like I'm a disturbance and a bother and most of all, its fraustrating to know that you would never make time for me, but you can do anything for anyone else but me... I do love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you but you keep pushing me away and making me feel like a piece of trash... And I sit here, eating icecream straight out of the tub as tears roLl down my face and the temptation of reaching for a blade races through my mind.... It wouldn't hurt. I doubt a dagger ripped through me would make me feel the pain I feel now... You make me feel and believe its my fault that things are the way it is right now and I let you...

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