Hailey
The Cutting Diary
Alone and Actually Wanting to Talk
February 25th, 2014. 4:10 PM
I feel so utterly and incredibly alone.
I feel lost. I feel like crying. All I want is for someone to tell me I'll be ok.
All I want to do is talk about my self injury.
I just want to talk to someone that understands. I don't want to have to explain or reassure. I don't want someone demanding to know if I hurt myself today. I just want to be able to openly talk about it with someone who GETS it.
I love my friends, and I actually have a few I may actually feel comfortable talking to. But what that means is explanation and worry and all of the above that I want to avoid.
I want to be able to say "I miss my razor" and just get back "I know that feel bro."
I want encouragement. I want reassurance. I want someone that wont judge me when I say I want to relapse again.
I want someone who understands what it means when I say I feel guilty for not feeling guilty.
I want to talk about my random SI thoughts and have a discussion with someone.
Is that so hard?
I've tried forums, but all they are is a room full of strangers to me.
I want one, reliable, person.
I just want a person.
Ad: