Hailey

The Cutting Diary
2014-02-25 22:11:02 (UTC)

Alone and Actually Wanting to Talk

February 25th, 2014. 4:10 PM

I feel so utterly and incredibly alone.

I feel lost. I feel like crying. All I want is for someone to tell me I'll be ok.

All I want to do is talk about my self injury.

I just want to talk to someone that understands. I don't want to have to explain or reassure. I don't want someone demanding to know if I hurt myself today. I just want to be able to openly talk about it with someone who GETS it.

I love my friends, and I actually have a few I may actually feel comfortable talking to. But what that means is explanation and worry and all of the above that I want to avoid.

I want to be able to say "I miss my razor" and just get back "I know that feel bro."

I want encouragement. I want reassurance. I want someone that wont judge me when I say I want to relapse again.

I want someone who understands what it means when I say I feel guilty for not feeling guilty.

I want to talk about my random SI thoughts and have a discussion with someone.

Is that so hard?

I've tried forums, but all they are is a room full of strangers to me.

I want one, reliable, person.

I just want a person.




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