Vanilla

Mundane.

I feel a little lonley today..or have been for the past few days since Dianas little incident.

I even managed to have a argument with Diana which we ofcourse sorted out...it was more of a confession from my side that I think she can be cruel and heartless sometimes.

I know I am feeling still quite distant from V. De-attached, kind of like that illusion I had of him for 4 years just broke...but a part of me wishes that it didnt, a part of me wishes that he was the guy I imagined and wanted him to be. Someone who once does care for someone actually cares alot but thats not true...

...hes not a gentleman, nor is he a nice guy...but then who is. Does any of them exist? Its ok though as I am pretty much accustomed to that behaviour now...I just miss feeling something you know..miss feeling like there could be someone there to catch me when I fall...and thats whats bugging me...im stronger now and more inependant so why am I getting busrts of need? Maybe it takes time to become cold.

For now..I need a life...I need something new and exciting to happen something to look forward to.

Dianas in Italy with Mark...im suprised she went after everything that went down but then again she is a weak fool in love...cant really say I wasnt the same.