MissEnlightenment

Bipolar Mama
2014-02-16 18:45:43 (UTC)

Hypo mania?

So lately I've been very energetic, but emotional and moody too. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going through but I've gotta take better care of something - quite possibly my meds.
I just re-read a past entry titled "Positivity", it made me cry, I was simply focused on Kyle and the fact that life is beautiful no matter what. Now I reflect on recent events, overwhelmed with self-pity I'm more focused on whether or not things are ideal than positivity and growth... I need to find some center.
On the other hand, I've been quite adamant about challenging my beauty ideals which is really important for me considering about a year ago I almost shaved my head... I'm not even sure if I wrote about that but the reason I began to seek treatment was because I had a strange anxious obsession with cutting my hair. It was absolutely life-consuming, I'd refuse to leave my house - not for school, not for friends or anyone. Inside my room I'd bury myself away infront of the mirror trimming, often crying, throwing away the scissors and retrieving them. Borderline insanity.
Anyway, I hope if this IS hypomania it's not gunna be around for too long because it's frustrating, if it's because I'm smoking weed too much then fuck me haha, we'll have to try a good cleans... I wonder if Kyle would be down... probably not, i guess its up to me anyway




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