sarahBgirl

sarah
2014-02-13 21:37:32 (UTC)

Am lost !

hi ! i honestly feel lost ! its weird how normal i could be untill i talk to him ! he talked to me actually today ; you can see that i do mean something to him ! he even said that he had a dream about me "i was in an airport and we havnt seen eachother in 5 years and i havnt aged he said and when we started talking he reminded me of a test that i failed in last year n i cried a lot about this test ! and in his dream we were laughing about this " that was his dream doesnt really show much feelings in a love way its much better to say that he sees me as a best friend or maybe a sister like he said ! its hard because my dream wasnt like that att all my dream was " i introduced him to my mom because he was the guy i love n in that dream i layed my head on his sholder because i love n feel safe with him so much " !! my dream is obvious its obvious how i feel about him ! n its obvious how he feels about me i just refuse to believe it ! see i tried to convince my self that we could more than this but we cant he loves her n i love him n that a triangle that could never work out ! its time to stop loving him n its time to stop acting like a child ! i dont even know what i feel i do kinda love him because let's face it ! who would make me feel like this i mean am crying while writing this ! i feel so sad for myself there are so many things about him that i dont like and somethings about him are just not made for me we dont have much simular things but why fo i feel so sad ?!i wanna leave ! i want true love to find me ! and i just hope i could forget him !
One of the hardest feelings in the world is when you see the a person as a sun who makes ur like shine while that person sees you as a normal planet that they'r just doing theyr job by being ur friends i mean they love having u as a friend because he does i can see that ! see the obvious things are clear ! and its obvious that am just a good friend that he doesnt wanna lose nothing more nothing less :)
i want this all to be over an amnisia would be nice but i dont even want to forget him ! its just so sad hope none of u guys experiences this type of situation .




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