the envious pen
2001-10-10 15:58:05 (UTC)

in and out of the loop

ian just e-mailed me some photos of james' birthday -- most
of the family was there. i'm at work, looking at these
photos, and getting teary-eyed. being so far from home is a
bi-polar adventure -- somedays you don't mind and it is far
from your mind -- somedays you wonder what the heck you are
doing and have you betrayed everyone and everything you are
about by your decisions...

i'm aware that my grandparents left everything behind
to come out and make a life in australia, and that the
history of our nation is made up people who did the
same kind of thing -- whether by choice or under lock
and key -- but it doesn't make it any easier. funny
thing is -- the picture that choked me up is the one
of steve and matt -- they're not even blood-relatives.
maybe it is just the fact they look like they are
becoming good mates and i am so far away out of the

just another expat moan.