I remain named by many

So I can actually save on ink and paper
2014-01-23 12:55:31 (UTC)

Many Of Horror

Biffy Clyro's Many Of Horror was what our relationship was like, I wonder if he ever knew that, I wonder if he ever felt that way, it's about a couple who are so in love with one another that they can't live without each other but they just aren't right for one another that they do more damage than good.

That was us all over, until the end, I wonder if he ever saw that.

I wonder if I'll ever meet somebody who won't stop loving me, who'll see me as this really beautiful girl and who will just adore me the way I am, I'm starting to think that's impossible.

I loved Mike so much that everything imperfect he did was always perfect, except in the end, when he didn't care and he left me that just made me want to close my eyes and rewind time to when he'd kiss me on the forehead and hug me in his arms until I was smiling.

But now, as friends, he doesn't dare leave me if I'm ill, he supports me and smiles no matter how tired he is, how is that possible?

'You say "I love you, boy"
I know you lie
I trust you all the same
I don't know why'

I always said we brought the worst out of each other when we were in a relationship and now as friends we bring the best out in each other an our friendship now really does just make our 3 years together look like such a shame.

We're just friends now, and I see two sides to him.

'Cause when my back is turned
My bruises shine
Our broken fairytale
So hard to hide'

The side were I just want to whack him across the face for everything he does, when he acts completely selfish it's revolting, when he swears and bad mouths and acts just too vile and you can't trust a single bone in his body.

And then the side I love more than anybody else in this world, the side which makes me proud to be his best friend, the selfless side, when he stands by you and would run to the end of the earth to support you and he's such a good person all over.

When we first broke up he ALWAYS acted like the first person, it made it impossible to trust him, he caused me a great deal of pain and I could barely eat/sleep/concentrate or be happy and then we spoke to one another outside of the pub not long ago and he was the second person and he hasn't stopped being that way for a few weeks now, I'm on edge waiting for the first person to come out but I'm hopeful he won't.

If he does, I can't see him ever again and that will be a shame because he'll miss out on having a really good friend.

'I still believe it's you and me 'til the end of time'

I'll miss out on seeing the good him, I'll miss him every day for the rest of my life and I just really don't want that.

I love him, even when I hate him and I can't show him what's right and wrong, I still love him through out it all and it's a very special thing to find somebody in this world who is willing to stand by you regardless of how much ugly they see in you.

'When we collide we come together
If we don't we'll always be apart
I'll take a bruise; I know you're worth it
When you hit me hit me hard'

I think it's just Michael though, when he doesn't get his own way and he can't do whatever he wants then he'll have the biggest temper tantrum in the world and everybody around him will dislike him because they see a selfish person.

I see that side to him sometimes but they don't know him like I know him, when he calms down and he can do what he wants, he'll be the most caring person in the entire world and I think, even when he's angry and selfish, I can show him to let the good person come out more.

I'll stand by him because I know deep down underneath all of the pain, he's the most loving person and I think he ought to act like that person all of the time, regardless of how angry he can feel.

'Sitting in a wishing hole
Hoping it stays dry
Feet cast in solid stone
I've got Gilligan's eyes'

Regardless of how much he can hurt me, he's my best friend and I need to stop being so afraid of how harsh he can act when he's angry because I'm prepared to help him through it, because I love him.

'Michael, everybody you meet is fighting a battle ... Always be kind.

No matter how tough life can get because you can't get your own way, remember that you're not the only person suffering in this world and sometimes you have to give up what you really want to do so you can put a smile on somebody else's face and then watch how they'll return the favour, so hush now, stop stomping your feet, remember how good you can be and how much you can help others and think about how good of a feeling that is.'

'I still believe it's you and me 'til the end of time'

Think about how many times you've pushed me away and I've dug my feet in and stood there strong, I don't want to feel that way any more, I want to feel like you want me in your life.

You want me as your friend, because I'm not going anywhere, no matter how alone you feel sometimes, I'll be there to hold your hand through it all and to remind you that you don't need a woman in your life to want you because you have amazing friends and family surrounding you who want you just as much, I want you :)
And I can't wait for the day that I can tell you I love you without being afraid you'll think I'm in love with you.

'You said love was letting us go against what
Our future is for...

Many of horror
Our future's for many of horror'

Whenever he feels lonely and angry because nobody will listen to him, he has to remember that I'll sit next to him for hours just to hear how everything he has to say, he never opened up when we were together and I was always frightened he never loved me.
And now because of that, I doubt he ever loved me, and that's bad because I want to know I was loved for 3 years, not needed.

I was always frightened, and in the end, I let him slip away because I was too tired to fight for him.

Now, I'm still frightened about losing him, but I hope that feeling will pass, we don't fight but if we did as friends I'd walk away due to being too tired.

So let's never fight, let's make this a pinky promise, sure we'll get silly and huff but we'll never fight like we used to.

And that's a grand thing.

I felt like this for a long time: 'I make you miserable, you stick with me, although you know I'm gonna ruin your life'

Now, I've seen more of your good side that I think you're going to make my life better, always be selfless, always be kind because you don't know when you'll see that person ever again.

Always be my fluffy mop head and I'll always be your Bobson.
Best Friends, I hope.

And the Biffy Clyro-Opposites was our relationship all over, I needed it the most when you let me go and if you listen to the songs you'll realise.

You'll always be my Knight in Shiny whatever,
because of everything.

And to have that as Best Friends is a good thing.




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