MzChristy

Diary of a Mad Woman
2014-01-19 11:32:42 (UTC)

When's bedtime?

Another day of the life of the family underdog.
Having one of those stupid days where nothing I do seems to be good enough. I already counting down the hours until bed time and it's not even fucking noon yet. My mother bitches and says I'm having another one of my "pity parties" but I think I have the right to have one every now n then. After all, she has them for herself every day!
I must bide my time for now. Nine more years.
1:23pm. Feeling really weirded out today. Think I'm having a mixed day or maybe I missed yesterday's meds or something. To make matters worse shadys been pissing n shitting all over the house and everywhere but on the puppy pad. Where in the hell am I going wrong with that? My mother has already threatened to get rid of him earlier cuz of it. Maybe that set me off.
I just feel stuck. Like idk what to do with myself. Sure don't help that I have nowhere to go to pull myself together in private. Caleb took over my room so I'm stuck out here in the open in the living room. With nowhere private to go but the fucking bathroom.
Really hating my life today.
2:17pm. I just took an abilify. I'm hoping it'll help me get out of this weirded out shit. I just hope I don't suddenly start getting an appetite again and start wanting to eat like a hog.
Dammit I just wish I had some place to run away to and hide until this shit quits. But unfortunately I don't here in this crowded hole of a trailer. 😣
6:35pm. And....things just went from shitty to even shittier. Now all I want to do is kill myself. It's not even worth talking about. 😭




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