Just a sin
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I just don't understand why I continue to put myself through so much shit. It almost feels like I want to be miserable. I continue to let people back in my life even though I know it isn't good for me. But it almost feels like it doesn't matter. Like I actually deserve to be not happy. I mean if I was meant to be happy, then I'd be happy, right? No matter how many times I tell myself "be happy, it could be so much worse" I can't help but to feel like I'm just so full of bullshit. I know it could be worse, I know I can't just tell myself to be happy and then poof, I'm fucking happy. I just don't know how much longer I can continue to feel this type of way. I mean I have everything to be happy for, so why the fuck aren't I happy?
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