Cream on top
So far so good at home. I am home the whole of this month. I don't think I can wane the whole emotions out of me until I leave independently from her. That is we leave separately. Right now I don't really mind as I see the kids day to day every day which will not be the case if we live separately.
Quite impressive how I have adapted. Things that used to make my heart skip is now water off the ducks back. I guess it is because I have studied the whole relationship inside out and I see that there is nothing in there for me. Nothing to carry a torch for. It was okay while on but I think it has truly lasted its course. It would be a mistake to go back. I am 90% certain I will not go back if for nothing else but to maintain my dignity. I also don't see anything in there for me and I can do far better. I look forward to a relationship based on love and mutual respect. I also sincerely wish her the best.
I was speaking to my mate the other day and said I am in a good position to comment on her actions and decision as I can see my heart. I do truly believe she made a terrible mistake. Her decision was ill advised, premature and reckless. It was based on an illusion of where she is and who se is. We can dissect as much as we want but Ultimately it was 'f**k o*f, I can do better without you' Good luck to her.
Hopefully with time I will get over the annoyance of the lack of acknowledgment to what I put into the marriage. With time everything will settle and the cream will rise to the top.