Little Drummer Girl

Life as I see it
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2014-01-07 22:33:32 (UTC)

Emptiness

Feeling empty today.

Had another fight with the husband. More of the same.

Why am I so unhappy? I have a wonderful son, another son on the way, a great job, a house, a husband, two dogs, a great relationship with my mom. If I can't be happy who can be? How does one be happy? I find reasons not to be. Not on purpose of course. It's just the voice in the back of my mind that tells me I don't deserve it because of XYZ.

Feeling fat again. It's hard not to when you're 32 wks pregnant.

What happened today? Why do I find myself sitting on my bed at 9:30 pm unable to sleep, unable to move, unable to find anything enjoyable? I just sit. Breathing. Existing.

I hate fighting. It's lasted about a month this time. Not the same arguments of course, but the same... discontent, discord, disconnected cohabitation. It's all too familiar. What am I going to do? I run the scenarios through my head over and over again. None of them work.


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