Day2 - At Home
So far so good day 2 at home. Nothing to jump on roof top about and nothing to be grim about. A lot of my demeanour will depend on my cousin. I am still waiting for him to give go ahead to fund the business idea I have come up with. He has partly funded but we now need to push into the big time and I am not getting the right vibes. I intend to email/txt/call/chat him to get a 'go-no go'. I will pray about it. I am a strong believer in prayers.
I am now concentrating on my work (targets) with little or no distractions. My phone is not constantly vibrating which is bliss. I just want to concentrate on my work and my children for now.
I continue to wane myself off her. I don't want to be affected in any way by her actions or utterances. I want to just be focused on my targets with no anger in me. I write a lot about no anger but it is not easy to do. I think I still harbour a lot of anger but less so sentiments. I feel less emotional towards the issue at hand but still angry I suspect. I hope I continue to teach myself to be less angry.
We can only be what we are. We can only correct with what we have. I pray that I grow more in all the different skills and attributes required to be a good man. I continue to search for learning....the biggest deficiency is ignorance mainly because we do not even know we are lacking.