Prosie

Hello Cliff.
2014-01-07 03:52:55 (UTC)

A Scream

It's eating me alive. It's cutting me in two, cleaving all I was--family, memories, hopes, wishes--from what I am now. A human scream.
A raging blaring scream that strikes from head to feet like a lightning bolt, drives deep like an ice pick. I am nothing but the scream now. There is no chance to even breathe. Words come bursting out.
Why why why why why do you lie to me? Why do I believe you? Why won't this noise end? I can't think. I can't hear anything else.
What is killing me is I know you don't really love me. You never will. And I am giving myself to you anyway. My soul boils into a soup, and you swallow it whole. Did you even think when you reached out to me? That I wouldn't feel anything? Even when I've always been alone? Did you even think about me at all?
You called me unique. You said I was pretty, sincere, so much fun, beautiful. But then nothing. Your girlfriend still sleeps in your bed.
You told me your darkest secrets, your dreams. We made plans. Then nothing. You refuse to see me. To hear my voice. So I am screaming.
Who am I to you? My darling, who am I? My only friend, why do you torture me? My worst enemy, why do you treat me with such tenderness? Why won't you listen? Why won't you speak? Tell me how this will all end. Because I'm afraid of the space you will leave behind. The silence of a burned house. The sound after the scream runs out.




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