z2smith

z2Smith
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2014-01-06 09:32:13 (UTC)

At home to be bold

I am home for 4 weeks. I have so much to accomplish in these 4 weeks that my success will determine my year and even my future. I pray I have the determination to accomplish all the targets I have in front of me.

Still living in the same house with my wife and kids. The advantage is that I get to be a hands on father and see the kids every day. The disadvantage is that she is not far from sight.

I don't think I am any way prepared from any kind of serious relationship now but casual relationships also have their pitfalls and difficulties. I plan to keep my own counsel for the immediate future and concentrate on achieving my targets.

This year is without doubt going to be a major turning point in my life. I just pray I stay calm, don't make rash decisions, don't act on anger and look at the bigger picture. I need to apply all my experience, skills and Godliness into my actions.

It is not easy sometimes, especially when I go to church. There is an overwhelming feeling of shame and failure. I see my friends and people I don't know all with their families. It is still a shock to me but I am coping and getting to terms with my situation (I have no choice really). The next step now is for me to stop feeling sorry for myself and stop highlighting all the difficulties I am going through (a lot of them emotional and mental).

I now need to be bold and do all things. Yes I will experience difficult times but hey, that's life, get on with it. My boldness will take me far.


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