My Heart Is Not A Machine
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2013-12-31 11:06:32 (UTC)

New Years Eve

December 31st, 2013 - 11:07AM
Currently Listening To: Daft Punk - Around The World

It's New Years Eve! And Once again I'm doing nothing with my life. I guess I'm ok with it, I mean I have plenty of years left to celebrate New Years the right way.

I was supposed to go to a party with my... boyfriend? Let's just call him Z. So anyways, I was supposed to go to this banquet hall or something with Z and all his friends for New Years. There would've been an open bar, DJ, food, and TV's for when the ball drops. It turns out Z is in South Africa right now on vacation, so we couldn't go anymore. I was a little bummed but I mean, it's South Africa! He is probably having the experience of a lifetime over there. We haven't communicated so much since he left but he's been messaging me on Facebook whenever he gets Wi-Fi.

My other close friends already have plans for New Years with their own boyfriends, so I decided it's just better to not do anything. Lame, right?

Anyways, I thought it would be a good idea to recap 2013. I will write resolutions tomorrow.

2013 Was Interesting Because:

1). I broke up with my ex of ~2 years, which meant I finally remembered what it was like to be independent again. It was a messy break up, but I was so much happier afterwards. Breaking up allowed me to get the alone time I desperately needed, since the last time I was single was over three years ago (I stupidly broke up with another ex and then jumped into another relationship 1 month later. Bad idea).

2). I traveled to Europe. That was a great experience!! I went to Paris, London, and Rome. They're all beautiful cities and I saw so much art, food, and fashion. I saw the Eiffel Tower in Paris, went to the Vatican in Rome, and visited the House of Parliament in London. I'm dying to go back, but I know that probably won't be for a while.

3). For the first time in three years I was able to date other men. This is good and bad; good because I finally know what that experience feels like, bad because it was probably the most annoying thing ever! One guy I went out with, who happened to drive a Jaguar, insulted the way I pronounced "gesture" and told me that all girls "seek approval" and that I was "seeking approval" from him. Oh and at the end of the date I said I had fun (to be nice, I didn't really have fun), and he said, "for you it was.." I literally ran away to my car after he said that! Horrible date. Another guy met up with me at a bar (sketch, I know) and then went home with another girl! How rude is that!? Lastly, this guy I went on a date with constantly demanded sexy photos and always wanted to talk dirty, and it was SO WEIRD because helloooooo I knew this person for like, three weeks. So yeah. Good and bad experiences haha.

4). My artwork grew tremendously. This was all started by my lame ass professor who said I wasn't a real artist. After so many years busting my ass so I can make good art I had this guy who barely knew me barge into my studio and insult me. I cried at the time, and hated his guts, but in a way his disapproval helped me. Ever since then I strived to be better, just so I could prove to him I wasn't a shitty artist. As a result my paintings developed more character and color. I'm still struggling in terms of WHAT to paint, but at this point I think I'm just tired.

5). I discovered what it was like to have friends again. When I was with my ex I barely saw anyone. I'm ashamed of that, because I turned into THAT girl who ditched all her friends for her loser boyfriend. But I have learned, and never again will I make that mistake. I'm so grateful to have reconnected with so many friends from college. Even while seeing Z I have a healthy balance of friend life and boy life, which is great.

6). I'm learning to not take anything for granted. Appreciate every day of life, no matter how boring or redundant.

7). Lastly, I met someone who makes me a very happy girl. I won't say too much because we haven't been together long, but I always enjoy spending time with Z and I think I'm lucky to have met him. He goes to my university but he happens to live 30 mins away from my hometown, which is super convenient. He's smart, funny, and he can be a total sweetheart.

So that is my small recap of 2013. 2014 will definitely be interesting; it's the year I graduate college and enter the "real world." I'm not sure what to expect during my last semester, but I'm sure it will be another whirlwind of emotions, drama, and lots of homework.