vt

It's A Promise
2013-12-22 12:34:44 (UTC)

Just Another Day in Paradise

So recently I've been getting this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach like something horrible is going to happen. Usually I get this after my friends leave my house when they come over or vice versa. However, I mainly get this feeling after I have been drinking at a party. I guess this is because I have not socialized as much as I had hoped for and I'm regretting it. Sometimes halfway through a party I get this feeling and I start to panic like I need to run away and for some reason I'm not safe there. I don't know why I'm feeling this and to be honest I don't think I want to know.

I've also started developing feelings for someone whom I hoped I hadn't. It's simply not possible at this moment for me to act on these feelings. However, the future looks bright and I'm hopeful that one day these feelings will be mutual and perhaps a relationship could "blossom". Yet at the same time I value this person dearly and should a relationship between us fail... I'm not sure I would be able to handle living my life without them. It's that kind of feeling where we both understand something that nobody else can see. We see eye to eye and no matter what I go through I know that they will always understand. It kind of makes it seem like whenever they're around everything is ok. I used to think that there was something wrong with me because no matter how hard I tried to express myself, no one could understand what was going on in my head. It began to drive me crazy and I almost gave up and ceased to have an opinion all together. Then when this person came into my life I didn't even have to try in order to be understood. It scared me to the point of nausea that this might be love. I hope more than anything that it's not... at least not yet.

In conclusion I would like to get to the bottom of this strange feeling at the pit of my stomach. Is it anxiety?




Ad: