CuriouserAnndCuriouser

Falling Down The Rabbit Hole
2013-11-22 15:09:16 (UTC)

Dance Dance Die.

The Marine Corps Ball is tonight. I'm taking Mo. Joe will be there. I'm worried as to how this night is going to go, however I'm excited all the same. I plan to stay after school and help set up, then go upstairs to the class room and change into my dress. For once, I think I actually look.. Good. I don't think I look fat in my dress, I don't think it's too long nor short. It's simply perfection. The dress, I mean. There's been a lot on my mind, so I haven't really been getting sexual with Mo. It had been two months since I had done anything with him. But 3 days ago, (I didn't really want to, but he did, so I told him I wanted to) I decided to get intimate again. No, not sex. Just. Touching. Oral. Stuff like that. And, now, I'm not as sad as I was before. I feel better. I even found out yesterday that a good friend who's children I babysit tried to kill herself.. I didn't think I could handle anymore conflictions in life. But, I handled it. She's in the hospital. She feels like she has nothing to live for- her mother took her children away from her (my friend is almost 30) because she doesn't like the man she's with. So she made up stories about how my friend's boyfriend (We'll call him M. and my friend S.) molested, and beat S.'s kids. And how their house is always disgustingly messy, and unfit for four children. I spend my summer at that house with those kids- Nothing of the sort is true. Not one word. She was in the process of taking the pills (First she took a bottle of Xanax, then started drinking wine. while on the phone with her mother, she was taking Tylenol) trying to tell her kids she loved them, and pretty much goodbye.. N.N. (her mother) is with holding visitation, so she wouldn't let her talk to them.. Look at me now, getting all emotional.. Those kids. Need her. She can't give up. They've already been to court. She's so close.. I need to visit her in the hospital. But I don't know when.
I can't handle talking about this anymore.
Back to the first subject.
The not so much sex, sex pretty much has relieved me. I need to do this more often. I'll never be sad again. I could use some good head now, to make this new sadness go away..




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