Nerdgirl1985

The truths and lies I live
2013-11-22 07:35:00 (UTC)

Havent seen the stars in awhile

Tonight was weird. Had a good night, kids went to a friends house and i got out with my husband which doesnt happen often. Saw the new catching fire movie, cried through almost all of it, im such a sap! So we got home, had the necessary kid free sexy time and i started watching grey's anatomy. This episode had a couple, older, and the wife was dying. She was interviewing people to date her lover when she passed. This was my life 40 years from now if my husband could ever accept this. I have decided he doesnt need to know. It will hurt too many people, it will hurt me, my kids, my husband, and my Garrus as well. It would be selfish of me to tell him, and thats a double edged sword i know im also selfish for letting it continue. Ok so watching this episode was hope though like someday i could actually have all the things i want. Its so unconventional! So i feel like M and i are in a good place, and Garrus and i are in a good place the only one who feels off is me. I keep leaning to hard one way or the other instead of balancing, just trying to find my footing i guess. I think I might go for a walk, i havent looked at the stars in awhile. I wish there was a how to guide to life lol. Id pay tons for it. Thanks for reading!




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